I'm a day into parenting three boys and the adjustment already feels monumental. It's new in all the ways you expect when you bring another baby home but my two most unanticipated surprises have me laughing to myself at least a dozen times a day. I think it must be my self-invented antidote to postpartum melancholy.
1. I totally lost my cool in the birthing tub. I don't generally curse and I cussed like a tyrant sailor in my little private ocean during the dramatic last moments of delivery. I was so very ungranola and unzen that the aggrieved birthing tub deflated and the sacred moment when our baby took his first breath was filled with a scramble to stop 165 gallons of water from pouring into the room and a scurry to appease my barking demand to get that baby out of me.
He was 9 pounds 2 ounces. I must say so in the vain hope of recovering any respect you may have had for me.
2. I love my new car. I didn't think I cared a dirty diaper's worth about what I drove but this morning I was full on beaming to see the Mercedes emblem gliding ahead of me down our stretch of road. It feels so fancy and out of character that I'm pretty sure I'm living a joke which is perfect for someone who often takes life way too seriously.
Thank you, boy Walker 3. A jolly good surprise since conception.