When you find yourself in high demand and also of little consequence

I'm in week 2 of working with Knox Revival Paint Co. and thinking long and hard about art making.  I'm putting some thought into which "clubs" I'm in or out of and what I want to do about it.  

 All speckled and tired with my beloved Thatch Henry

All speckled and tired with my beloved Thatch Henry

I feel as certain as a person can get that I'm made to make things but the form and to what end feels more murky.  I'm excited to be in this betweenness, so much potential and opportunity for surprise.  I also think it's unbearably exhausting.  And while I think my deep thoughts, the laundry piles up and the crackers go unswept.   

Seeking is hard to do.  And also supremely satisfying. 

Amen.