The part of myself I don't like

I went to bed so early that I woke up at 9:30pm unable to sleep.  I woke up terribly sad.  I hesitate to write this because I don't want anyone to worry about me and I have no point in saying this, really.  I'm writing on behalf of myself; to acknowledge that this is happening.  I hope my tone is kind and patient.  It's hard being married.

 

 Recent painting  

Recent painting  

I'm compelled to say also that everything is deeply good.  I'm both okay and downcast, grateful and bitter.  It's hard to be and sweet, in the weightiest sense of the word. 

Alright, self.  I hear you.  That's all I'm capable of, but I'm really trying to listen well.  I hear you, it's okay that you're there, maybe we could sleep on it?